Wednesday, 26 April 2017

pay day

One of the great things about being a girl now is that I can indulge the whimsical side of me more. I never knew how to do it as a guy. I felt the relentless pressures of masculinity and "being cool" weighing heavy on me. It was little stuff - like the arched brow of the sales person, my hasty and unconvincing lie that it was a present, actually, & comments from colleagues - and extreme disapproval of partner who expected me to be a man. In fact quite a few of the things I bought for myself were 'disappeared' while i was with her. That and my own internal nagging voice - the one that my father put into me when i was growing up about what a real man would do. And now, this feels like freedom.  Its little stuff like this that makes a difference. 

today's selfie

owl ear phones
hot water bottle

So I'm gradually feeling less self conscious and slowly my Dad's voice in my head is growing quiet. I found these things in a sale -half price - and had to have them. It was pay day after all!

Sunday, 23 April 2017

Shouting "chromosomes" at people isn't science

I've based this article on a series of Tweets I posted on 23rd of April 2017.

There's an increasing trend of people using the concept of science to attack trans people. These people aren't scientists; they tend to be people who have never studied science.

Two groups in particular seem to be obsessed with this misuse of science - trans excluding feminists, and conservative, or radical, religious bigots.

I believe it started out of genuine ignorance, with many people out there who tend to be bigoted because their experience of life and/ or education was rather limited, and so they fell back on very childish understanding of biology to use as a weapon against trans people - much like arguments that in the past have used to attack gay people. But in recent months it has started to feel like a concerted campaign by a few different groups that are unfortunately prone to a hatred of people different from themselves.

I've been sent scans of basic GCSE level biology text books showing genitals of naked adults, one labelled male and the other labelled female. More recently the same trolls are more likely to shout, "you can't change your chromosomes" or more along the lines of this beauty, "they use science to build their case for climate change yet openly reject it when it comes to the transgender topic. Such hypocrisy", which apparently amounts to XX chromosomes for girls and XY for boys. Never mind the scientific reality and complexity of chromosomes, or the fact that neither gender idenitity nor transgender (or for that matter cisgender) identities depend on chromosomes. And nor do we ever claim it does. We accept that we may well still have XY or XX chromosomes (if indeed that's the case, but until we test them we can't assume), but it does not matter!!! We are still who we are.


hate speech bus

One of the arguments against being gay that I remember was that if everyone was gay we'd all die out. But not everyone is gay, and so the argument makes no sense. In fact it tends to be a fairly even and consistent 5 to 10% of society who identify as LGB. And this is backed up by endless studies and surveys.

But how can evolution have produced people who prefer same sex relationships? This assumes that evolution can only affect our ability to procreate - but in fact any development that benefits society, eg, helps us live longer, live healthier, producing more stable societies, & we become more successful as a species, we raise healthier children that are better able to survive and thrive - is one that is amplified by the process of evolution. If man was a solitary animal then the argument that gay people would be selected out by evolution might hold water, but we're not. Our children's survival, and indeed our own survival, is dependent on so many other people that those people's genetics matter to you too.

(Sorry if this is clumsy and sorry if I'm upsetting any geneticists, but I figure if I can explain it to myself then I can probably explain it to others, and I am self taught in the principles of genetics and evolution and probably don;t understand much, but i like to think i have a grasp of some of the core principles.)

See, supporting gay people was considered anti science once. But people were still gay regardless. The haters, instead of wanting to use science to understand why gay people existed despite their own dog eat dog version of evolution, instead just wanted to hound gay people into accepting their own non-existence. They couldn't be natural, they said, so they must be deliberately choosing to be sexual deviants, and so society made it illegal and persecuted anyone who fell in love, or lust, with someone of the same sex.

What the haters don't seem to get, is science is not there to force people to conform, it's there to explain...

So the fact that there have always been trans people and that trans children exist at ages 3 and 4 is not anti science, and nor could it be. It'd be like saying any phenomena observed only since science came into existence, that wasn't fully explainable by science, is anti science. Try telling 4 year old kids who refuse to accept the gender assigned to them that they're being anti science. See where it gets you.

So, haters, i am absolutely certain i am a woman. Even though i was forced to be a boy and man under threats of.violence and ridicule. And yet, the surety, the knowledge, of who i am persists and was so compelling that ignoring it was making me suicidal.

What would be, and is, anti science, is ignoring this phenomena. Pretending it's not real. That would be anti science. Only Nazis use science to erase human behaviours that they seem to be anti science.

Saying it's mental illness is also anti science. Because, you need to prove it's mental illness. Medicine is science based. To declare something to be an illness you need to be qualified, you need evidence, and you need to prove what you say is true to other people who are similarly qualified (so you all actually know what you're talking about) and prove what you say is true. Do studies, write a paper, publish it where it will be robustly critiqued, and that allows you to respond to the criticisms.

That's what you have to do to not be anti science if you're taking an anti-trans stance.

And stop ignoring the evidence that already exists that clearly shows physical evidence that trans is real.

On mental illness, as science is beginning to be applied to trans and the old bigotries in medicine is being stamped out you will note, fewer and fewer "experts" are willing to state that trans is a mental illness. That's because there is no evidence for this. None at all. This was published in the Lancet in 2016:
The conceptualisation of transgender identity as a mental disorder has contributed to precarious legal status, human rights violations, and barriers to appropriate health care among transgender people. The proposed reconceptualisation of categories related to transgender identity in WHO's forthcoming International Classification of Diseases (ICD)-11 removes categories related to transgender identity from the classification of mental disorders, in part based on the idea that these conditions do not satisfy the definitional requirements of mental disorders. 
There also used to be psychological theories trying to explain why trans existed, but they've been thoroughly discredited over years. Only bigotry keeps them alive now. Being trans does not look like an illness (as above, "does not fit the definitional requirements of mental disorders"). As a woman I'm perfectly healthy, only as a man was i mentally ill. I developed depression and anxiety that prevented me from living any kind of life. Being a woman now allows me to live. So why do haters persist in attacking trans people for doing the one thing that allows us to live?

You talk about science. well science is about evidence. And all the evidence says transitioning is extraordinarily successful. See below:


Surgical regret is actually very uncommon. Virtually every modern study puts it below 4 percent, and most estimate it to be between 1 and 2 percent (Cohen-Kettenis & Pfafflin 2003Kuiper & Cohen-Kettenis 1998, Pfafflin & Junge 1998, Smith 2005Dhejne 2014). In some other recent longitudinal studies, none of the subjects expressed regret over medically transitioning (Krege et al. 2001De Cuypere et al. 2006).
These findings make sense given the consistent findings that access to medical care improves quality of life along many axes, including sexual functioning, self-esteem, body image, socioeconomic adjustment, family life, relationships, psychological status and general life satisfaction. This is supported by the numerous studies (Murad 2010De Cuypere 2006Kuiper 1988, Gorton 2011, Clements-Nolle 2006) that also consistently show that access to GCS reduces suicidality by a factor of three to six (between 67 percent and 84 percent)
Two studies on trans regret here:


Pfafflin F., Junge A. (1992) Sex Reassignment: 30 Years of International Follow-up Studies after SRS: A Comprehensive Review, 1961-1991 [publication online]. Translated from German  into American English by Roberta B. Jacobson and Alf B. Meier. IJT Electronic Books.
This study looked at 70 previous studies and reviews on outcomes following sex reassignment surgery.  These included 2000 individuals from 1961 to 1991.  This doesn’t take into account individuals who transition without surgery.  About 70% of MTF individuals were satisfied and 90% of FTM individuals.
Krege S., Bex A., Lummen G., et al. (2001). Male-to-female transsexualism: a technique, results and long-term follow-up in 66 patients. BJU International. 88:396-402.

 This study shows little or no regrets possibly due to surgical advances

All the evidence says trans is real, and the illnesses associated with trans are treatable, and even if trans itself was a mental illness (& it isn't) do you realise the current medical route for transitioning came about as response to the belief that "transsexuallism" was a mental illness? Mental illnesses need to be treated where possible, and science needs to be applied to understand the nature of mental illness. What makes you think that transitioning isn't the completely appropriate thing to do to help trans people live?

What would you do to help/ treat/ cure (pick your own word) trans people? Some form of conversion therapy. Well, these methods have been proven time and time again not to work.

Example 1, example 2, example 3.

From Julia Serano:


The World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH, who are health care providers, not trans activists) in their latest Standards of Care (version 7) clearly state:
Treatment aimed at trying to change a person’s gender identity and expression to become more congruent with sex assigned at birth has been attempted in the past without success (Gelder & Marks, 1969; Greenson, 1964), particularly in the long term (Cohen-Kettenis & Kuiper, 1984; Pauly, 1965). Such treatment is no longer considered ethical.
So the largest and most long-standing trans health organization, and the transgender community at large, both think that gender conversion therapies are unethical. Those are the facts. But you wouldn’t know this if you read Dreger’s article, as these highly relevant points are never mentioned at all. And miraculously, her article titled “The Big Problem With Outlawing Gender Conversion Therapies” never once discusses actual gender conversion therapies! So readers never learn about the real-life horror stories detailed in those three previous links.

But that's why we have science, and qualified people in medicine, so that we don't keep trying to make things work that clearly don't work. Without science we'd all still be trying to cure disease with magic, or strange and ineffective remedies.

All those people who use science to attack trans people, you need to understand that evidence is the bedrock of science. That communication with people who disagree with you is an essential part of science. That providing evidence to others that stands up, and that is up to date and supported. Shouting chromosomes at trans people is anti science.

Because you've proved yourself unable to listen and unable to understand basic biology and completely fail to understand what it is that trans people.have to say, and what we go through and what we endure to become our true selves. You have failed at science. Sorry!

A Firsthand Account of the Torture of 'Conversion' Therapy




Saturday, 22 April 2017

Selfie

I compare myself to other Aspie women and I think I'm right on track now. 


Wednesday, 19 April 2017

faceApp

So this - I've seen a thread of people using this and I had very mixed up feelings. It feels like cis people are stamping all over me when they publish their fictional transition before and after photos. So anyway I did mine. The app clearly isn;t for me. I'm already old so the old one just shows how i should look now if I'd not looked after myself. The supposedly female one makes me look like a girl (not a woman) and the male one does very little. But I have pictures of me as a male so I don;t really need this app. And the fake smile is just fucking wrong. It looks like something out of the Radio One diary of 1981. I much prefer the pics at the bottom from Snapchat. And it's given me a make up idea. 








Friday, 27 January 2017

Famous for 15 minutes


I didn't write this. I did originally write a piece but it was substantially rewritten by a journalist before it was sent on the be picked up by a magazine. Then it was rewritten some more. Some of the stuff in this story is clearly a dramatic verison - like me twirling in front of a mirror as a kid, or going straight into borrowing my mum's clothes after trying on a dress for the first time ever. It was much more nuanced than thta in reality.

Also - they loved the angle of me being empowered by Twitter, but as I couldn;t find enough tweets to support this, it wasn't the main angle of the final story.

And another thing - love that the colour scheme they use matches the colour scheme of this blog! :-p

All in all, I'm quite impressed with this article. It's positive. It's largely factual. And there was nothing in there I didn;t agree to before publication.

The same day me and rich were contacted by ITV but as neither of us responded my moment of brief fame ended there!

Wednesday, 28 December 2016

Article in the National Geographic on Trans

This article appeared in the National Geographic, which shows how far trans people have come. However, it's far from perfect as an article. While research that confirms the physiological differences in trans people are dismissed as not being conclusive using rather dubious (ie, inaccurate) justifications, the following is included with no references, and no evidence:

"Eric Vilain, a geneticist and pediatrician who directs the UCLA Center for Gender-Based Biology, says that children express many desires and fantasies in passing. What if saying “I wish I were a girl” is a feeling just as fleeting as wishing to be an astronaut, a monkey, a bird? When we spoke by phone last spring, he told me that most studies investigating young children who express discomfort with their birth gender suggest they are more likely to turn out to be cisgender (aligned with their birth-assigned gender) than trans—and relative to the general population, more of these kids will eventually identify as gay or bisexual."

The article seems to have an inconsistent approach to scientific research. Treating research such as this (New Scientist) in a very sceptical way, even though such studies arescientifically valid, albeit with small sample numbers (necessarily). It mentions that the process of transitioning for some subjects might have skewed the results, but every study I've looked at took this into consideration and included suitable controls to check for that. The results of research like this have mostly been clear and unequivocal despite the small sample sizes.

So this - is a very dishonest representation of the research so far carried out on the physiological causes of trans.  
These studies have several problems. They are often small, involving as few as half a dozen transgender individuals. And they sometimes include people who already have started taking hormones to transition to the opposite gender, meaning that observed brain differences might be the result of, rather than the explanation for, a subject’s transgender identity.

As if controls to take the effects of HRT into consideration was something that not one scientist had thought of when designing their study!!   
So I found this from a description of one the studies I identified, which is fairly typical:

None of the transsexual subjects had received any hormone treatment prior to the study. Using an MRI, the researchers found that the transwomen had more cortical thickness than the XY males in three regions of the brain. The transmen showed evidence of masculinization of their grey matter. In all transsexuals studied, the key differences from their biological sex were found in the right hemisphere. (Zubiaurre)

More truthful summaries would be found in the New Scientist article referenced above, or this blog which mentions many and varied studies in this area. There are many, many more studies out there which can be found using Google. And new studies are carried out all the time.

This area clearly needs more work and a lot more money ear-marked for bigger studies, but it is obvious already that physiological differences exist in trans people, and that the studies required to show these differences in a conclusive manner will be carried out and that this is only a matter of time. 


It swallows the line that 75% of "such boys" - ie, those who express a desire to be a girl - turn out to be gay men without challenging it at all. There are no studies referenced. But what we do know is that some rather flawed studies have been carried out that claim to show this - but actually don't. Basically, gender non conforming children were assumed to be trans, and included in the studies. They weren't children who "repeatedly stated desire to be, or insistence that he or she is, the other sex" which would be a far better criteria for identifying trans kids.

From Huffington Post:
 For starters, the most cited study (Steensma) which alleges a 84 percent desistance rate, did not actually differentiate between children with consistent, persistent and insistent gender dysphoria, kids who socially transitioned, and kids who just acted more masculine or feminine than their birth sex and culture allowed for. In other words, it treated gender non-conformance the same as gender dysphoria. Worse, the study could not locate 45.3 percent of the children for follow up, and made the assumption that all of them were desisters. Indeed, other studies used to support this also suffered from similar methodological flaws.

 When Dr. Steensma went back in 2013 and looked at the intensity of dysphoria these children felt as a factor in persistence, it turned out that it was actually a very good predictor of which children would transition.
In other words, the children who actually met the clinical guidelines for gender dysphoria as children generally ended up as transgender adults. Further research has shown that children who meet the clinical guidelines for gender dysphoria are as consistent in their gender identity as the general population.

Also, there is the assumption made, and not challenged,  that it is far worse to allow a gay boy to live for a short time as a girl and then go back to being a boy (way before any medical transtion would occur) than it would be force a trans girl to live as a boy and then have to transtion to be a girl at a later date - after much psychological damage has been done, in most cases.

This blog on Eric Vilain's work and claims...
 Vilain and Bailey then paint the far more complex medical and surgical transition for trans girls in a negative light (“serious” interventions, hormones during puberty — the wrong puberty, by the way — estrogen “for life,” surgery as simply “satisfactory” and with “not uncommon side effects.”) Given the choice between a little psychological pain and the litany of medical despair what parent wouldn’t choose the former?

So, Dr. Vilain and I agree (personal correspondence) that there is no definitive research, a point trans ally Dr. Jack Drescher makes frequently, but a total dependence on research when lives are at stake is unethical. Even if it’s true that 75 percent of gender dysphoric boys turn out to be gay, it is also true that denying the gender dysphoric boys who are actually girls the right to transition is cruel and abusive, and too often life-threatening..... This entire approach is built on a single assumption — that it is worse for a boy to live as a girl for a period of time and then return to live as a boy (desistence) than to deny a trans girl her freedom to determine her life according to her wishes. That denial is cruel and unusual punishment and should be viewed as unconstitutional under the Eighth Amendment. I wouldn’t be surprised if those parents, who struggled to set their trans (or gay, for that matter) children “straight” before becoming enlightened and letting their children be themselves, wouldn’t wholeheartedly agree.

Monday, 14 November 2016

Being Trans: My journey to raising the Trans Pride Flag at 55 Broadway


When I joined London Underground (LU) in 1988 I knew I was Trans. This for me meant I struggled every day with my personal identity. For years I thought I was the only person who felt this way. 
I’d considered I might be gay, or bisexual, but while that fitted some of the facts, it clearly wasn’t the whole story. I didn’t particularly like doing things that girls were supposed to do – I was really a tomboy – but I wanted to be a girl, often felt myself to be a girl, dreamt about becoming a girl, physically. 
These feelings got stronger and as I grew older I realised just how unacceptable they were. So by the time I joined LU I’d learned to keep it all inside me. I still had the feelings but I managed to suppress them 
I started in signals and was often out on nights in an all male environment working on equipment in dark and dirty places. Sexist jokes abounded as did the occasional joke about ‘trannies’. Guys would be ‘teased’ about being a secret crossdresser. All the time I was thinking if they knew about me, I’d be ripped apart. 
In the next 10 years I went from walking through tunnels to sitting in an office and reporting on performance. The mostly male environment and the dodgy jokes, unfortunately, remained a regular feature. 
I always thought I’d keep my secret to the grave. What I never foresaw was what has happened in the last four years. In 2013, I came out at work and then later that year I transitioned to being a woman. In particular, I never imagined in a million years I would be sitting with Mark Wild, the Managing Director of LU and talking to him about what it is like to be Trans. I probably thought that more likely that I’d eventually bullied out of work or sacked. 
Mark told me that he believed an organization that embraces diversity is a more efficient company, that when people are able to be themselves they work better, and being inclusive
means you get wider choice of people with the right skills.  
Mark asked for one thing he could do for Trans people. To me all the things that have to happen are complex and difficult to achieve; I found it hard to pick one thing. So I asked for more Trans visibility in TfL. But how? So I thought about it, and asked if we could fly the Trans flag during Trans Awareness Week. Mark said yes. I had half expected a no.
So now my journey has been from being the closeted Trans woman too scared to be herself at work to being the woman who persuaded the Mark Wild to fly the Trans flag at 55 Broadway.
I hope that this will be a milestone for Trans visibility in our community, and for TfL too; I hope TfL will be recognised as one of the organisations leading the way on Trans inclusion. For me it’s a long held ambition come true and I’m incredibly proud! 











Monday, 31 October 2016

Respond to lies in the media & support Mermaids

I'll finesse this entry later but this is what you need to write a letter of complaint to the press commission. 

This is the TMW press release pointing out the facts that lie behind the lies being told by the media.  

Text copy version here - if the link doesn't work please let me know via @laughingnoam on Twitter or a comment here.





 This explains how to make a complaint at IPSCO - you need to do it within 4 months of the article appearing. That gives you a fair amount of time to make sure you write a good letter, in your words if possible, and make sure you get everything right - unlike the Daily Mail did.
https://www.ipso.co.uk/make-a-complaint/

Here's some words you might like to use - or, better, in your won words but using these points.

I would also suggest that 1. of the editors code - accuracy - would also be grounds for complaining.

If the text below is not clear then please click on it to make it bigger and more readable.  Hoping I can put a cut and pasteable version up here later.


Please also write to your mp - or email - and use the referenced facts in the TMW press release above to make sure your mp is armed with actual facts and not tabloid lies.
Find email address here -> http://www.parliament.uk/mps-lords-and-offices/mps/

finally, and most importantly, show your support to mermaids http://www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/

Make a donation
send them supportive messages - their Twitter address is   @Mermaids_Gender
use the hashtag on Twitter #standwithMermaids

 

Thankyou. 

 

In order to improve this blog entry I welcome feedback. Please let me know what you think @LaughingNoam or as a comment here.